I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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