Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
