you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
