so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
