How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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