I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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