god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
