One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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