were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
