we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
