Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
