whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
