if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize