it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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