If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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