I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
