He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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