Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
