I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
