I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
A+ Viking dick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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