I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
