Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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