Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
