I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
