she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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