I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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