they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
3 2 1 whiskey
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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