Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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