I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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