me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
