I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
