also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
