Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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