Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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