YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
