hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
