He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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