what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
