Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
