I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
