shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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