i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
