so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
