maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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