I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
