You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
