He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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