WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We left the knife in your bed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
