I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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