Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
